Monday, October 7, 2013

Bitch, Please: Five Things Not To Say to a Big Girl



1.       "Omg, look at this muffin top!  I've gained 7 pounds this year!!"  
Bitch, Please.  Try gaining 100 pounds in a year                                                                                   
2.       "I can't believe I went from a size 8 to a 10!  That's a DOUBLE DIGIT!!!"     
Bitch, Please.  Try going from a size 6 to 20.                                                                                      
3.       "I have got to start working out...Look at these THUNDER THIGHS!!!"         
Bitch, Please...your damn thighs aren't supposed to have a gap between them!  Men LOVE more Cushion For The Pushin'!                                                                                                                                
4.      "Pretty soon I'll have to be shopping at Dress Barn and Lane Bryant!"               
 Bitch, Please.  Shut the fuck up and go to Abercrombie and Bitch and get your skinny ass some clothes
                                                                                                                            
5.       "I don't think he's attracted to me since I got pudgy.       
Bitch, Please.  Go suck an egg.  Pudgy is the new Skinny.  'More Pudgin' for the Lovin'!!                                                                                                                
COPYRIGHT 2013 - bethsmithcomedy inc.                                                                                              

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