I've never known true love. Reciprocated love. All I've known in my 28 years is Unrequited Love.
I did have one man tell me he loved me 3 years ago...but I found out he cheated on me the entire time we dated. So I don't count that as love. It was a short romance, and I'm glad we went our separate ways.
I don't know why I like to chase after men. I guess I like the challenge. But men are supposed to be the ones pursuing women! I shouldn't have to be buying a guy presents or a MOTORCYCLE to prove to him my feelings. I'm just thinking about all these past 4 years that I prayed that God would open this man's eyes and reveal to him that we would be great together. What a waste!
I'm so glad God has opened my eyes and let me see that love is not love, unless it is reciprocated! I loved in vain...and unrequited love is a bitch. Pure hell. Knowing you care for and love that one person...and they only see you as a friend.
But I am turning over a new leaf. This time I'm letting love find me. I finally got off all those stupid online dating sites....8 years was enough! I don't even want to meet a man online. I want to have a good story to tell the grandkids!
I am realizing that you can't always get what you want...in love or life. But God has a plan for my life...including who I will marry. I'm not going to be that desperate girl anymore constantly seeking love and affection. I've lived alone now for over 5 years....and sure I get lonely at times. But I'd rather be single and lonely than married and miserable.
I see so many of my friends get married, and then find out their spouse was a cheater or a physical or emotional abuser. I used to hate being single. But I've become content with my single status. My parents have been married 46 years, and although they don't have a perfect marriage...they put God first and are committed to each other.
I think some girls have a timeline on when they want to get married and have kids. But that's stupid. Why not just live your life to the fullest and then when you least expect it...that special someone will come into your life and will fit like a missing puzzle piece.
I think it's exciting to know that I could meet my future husband tomorrow...or maybe 5 years from now. I don't know...but God does.
I'm over the "friend zone." I deserve more than that. And if a guy hasn't realized in 4 years that I'm someone special...then he can get lost. I don't need friends like that. I'm not going to continue to hang out with a guy...when I have developed feelings for him...but he doesn't have any feelings for me beyond friendship!
I can't believe I have been holding on to this guy, praying that one day he might see me in a different light. I've wasted years, tears, and MONEY!
I am moving on. I've dated men who like big women. And if I want to lose weight, I will do it...but I'm sure as hell not going to lose weight for a man to date me!
So this blog is just to let some people know that yes, I once was that girl stuck in the friend zone wishing for more. But sometimes in life, you have to cut your losses and move on!
Here's to finding a good man who will love me for ME! And not be shallow and superficial and only want to date perfect Christian Barbie Dolls!
I feel empowered! I've passed up good men who actually want to date me...because I was holding on to some Momma's Boy!
I am just going to keep performing my stand up every chance I get and not worry about finding a man! This time I'm letting LOVE FIND ME!
