Ok so picture this. New Year's Eve. I'm sitting on the couch perusing profiles of single men on match.com. I had already searched Craigslist personal ads thinking surely some dude was wanting a date for NYE. But to no avail, I finally had to accept the fact that I was "dateless" on NYE. That didn't bother me much, though, because I'm used to being single. It was just odd that none of my friends wanted to hang out or go out. Probably because most of them are "coupled up".
Ok so anyway, I had sent this cute guy on match.com an email and I was just sure he would reply. But a few minutes later, I received one of those computer generated emails that said, "Thanks, BUT....Some people just don't know a good thing...."username" appreciates your taking the time to let him know you're
interested, but doesn't think you're a good match for him. Don't be
discouraged. Magic happens when you least expect it. With millions of
singles on Match.com, you could be just one click away from finding
someone who's right for you."
Now I have received plenty of those stupid generic emails, but only to guys I winked at. I was so pissed off that I had emailed this dude....a nice long email nonetheless....and instead of taking the time to reply....he sends me that generic response. I was just so mad and frustrated....I started crying. The tears just came. Here it was NYE and I had no plans and no one to bring in the New Year with. So after about 3 minutes of throwing a little pity party for myself, I got mad. I said to myself, "Self: This is fucking stupid. Get off your ass and get in the shower and fucking go somewhere." So I went over and turned up my stereo to this rap radio station on like volume 20. My whole condo was vibrating due to the bass. It was great. I didn't give a fuck if my neighbors came over to tell me to turn it down like they have done before. I didn't give a fuck about anything.....I danced around naked and was having fun.
So I shower and start whoring it up for my big night out. I put on this shirt I bought over a year ago that I had never wore because it was partially see thru...but I didn't care. I didn't obsess about what to wear like I normally do. I found a pair of Silver jeans I had bought on ebay, but couldn't fit in. But after about 10 minutes of struggle and finally deciding to wear no panties so they would fit better.....I got the jeans on! Woo Hoo! They were slightly cutting off circulation, but after dancing around my condo for a while....They were starting to loosen up and I was happy.
So it was about 10:30pm when I head out the door. I had decided to go to Fanatics to sing some karaoke. I get there, though, and there is not a single parking space. I ended up parking at the movie theatre and walking pretty far to get to the bar. I go inside and immediately feel out of place. There are couples, groups of 10 or more....and I just felt self-conscious about showing up alone. But I go to the bar to get a drink and there just happened to be one seat left at the bar. I down half of a Miller Lite and consider leaving after I finish it. But then I start talking to this nice lady beside me and she asks if I would save her seat while her and her friend go out and smoke. I obliged and ordered another beer and started feeling better. So the lady comes back and I ask her to save my seat while I go and smoke. Well, this is where the night gets interesting.....
I had noticed this white limo parked in front of the hotel and bar. This dude in a suit comes up to me and asks if I want a ride. He said he was taking tips to ride people around the block or take them wherever. I told him I only had $5 and he said that was fine to get in and he'd take me for a ride. So I was so excited to ride in a limo because I hadn't ridden in one since the 8th grade when I sold the most fundraising crap and won a ride in a limo with my friends to the 8th grade dance. Anyway, dude starts semi-flirting with me, telling me I was pretty, and that I could have any man I wanted, and he couldn't believe I was dateless on NYE. Well then he asks if I would give him a hug if he pulled over. I told him I had Mace. So he drove me back to the bar. Well I ended up giving him a hug and thanked him for the discounted ride.
I get back in the bar at 11:56pm.....just in time to get my free glass of champagne and toast in the New Year with the nice lady and her friend sitting beside me. I chose not to watch the couples playing tonsil hockey all around the room and watched NYC celebrating on the tvs. My eyes got a little misty and I had to hold back tears because even though I didn't want to admit it...I was alone on NYE.....again. I read an article earlier in the day that said, "Every New Year's Eve you're Single brings you closer to the New Year's when you won't be." That was encouraging, but still, I have my doubts.
Anyway, the slightly creepy limo driver comes inside and finds me and wishes me a Happy New Year. I start telling my new found friend beside me that I thought it was odd that his limo service had no name, no business card, no nothing. She agrees that it is weird and I probably shouldn't have went for a ride with the dude by myself. But I'm enjoying listening to people sing karaoke. I go put in to sing a song. Then, limo driver dude comes back in and starts chatting with me again. He points out a guy across the bar and says he is single also and 29 years old. I found it rather odd that this dude I don't even know was trying to hook me up with random guys. So I ask him what the single guy's name was. He said his name was Adam. So I shout across the bar, "Hey, is your name Adam??" And this guy looks at me like I'm crazy and says no. Then his girlfriend comes and stands beside him and gives me this look that could kill. So I decided to start yelling at the Limo driver dude so this girl can hear me. I am not a big confrontation person, but I was so embarrased that I had yelled across the bar at a guy I thought was alone.....but ended up not being "Adam" and being attached. I don't even remember what I said to the limo driver dude, but basically I told him to get lost and that he was freaking me out. I just found it weird and creepy that a guy that doesn't even know me took it upon himself to try to hook me up with strange men then ended up lying about the guy's name and his relationship status. Oh, and did I mention limo driver dude was married. Yeah, for 14 years. Fucking Married Men....I wish they'd fuck off.....maybe go fuck their wife for a change.
So the drama was over and the night was coming to a close. I go up and belted out "What's Up" by 4 Non-Blondes to a few people still hanging around. Then I headed home. I stayed up till 8am watching the movie, "He's Just Not That Into You" and eating ice cream.
But overall, my NYE wasn't too bad. I was proud of myself that I went out by myself because I normally don't do that. I ended up having fun even though the limo driver dude kinda creeped me out. But I love spontaneous stuff like that. It's exciting to go out and not know what's going to happen or who you are going to meet. Planned events are so monotonous. You know who you are going out with and specifically what you are doing. But I like just going with the flow and seeing what happens. I thought it was serendipitous that when I had got out of my car I was walking towards the Electric Cowboy thinking I might have more luck there at meeting a guy, but then I changed directions and decided to go with my original plan of doing karaoke. Who the fuck cares about meeting some drunk guy that just wants to get in my pants. I think that has been my problem in the past. I would go out with my girls and I just knew that I was going to meet Mr. Right.....or Mr. Right Now. And then when I didn't meet anyone, I would be disappointed and vow never to go out again. I set my expectations way too high and ended up crying in my pillow. So it was refreshing to go out not even wanting to meet a guy....and just let loose, have a couple beers, and enjoy the night.
So with all that said, I have decided on a few New Year's Resolutions:
To live life to the fullest and be more spontaneous. To not sit at home on my nights off and have a pity party because I'm single and have no one to hang out with. To not be afraid to grab the bull by the horns and go out alone. To not be afraid to start conversations with people. To not set such high expectations and think that I'm going to meet a guy every time I go out. To not worry about the new guy I meet on Match.com being my future husband or just a friend. To not be envious of my single friends that meet their Mr. Wonderful. To just live my life, go with the flow, and not worry that I'm almost 30 and no where close to settling down. To pursue my educational goals but not worry if it takes me another 5 years to get my bachelors. And to get back on stage with confidence and make people laugh with all my crazy, quirky stories!
Those resolutions are a whole lot better than my usual: Lose weight. I do want to lose weight, but I don't want it as much as my nurse mother and sister doctor want me to lose it. I want to get to the point where I want to lose weight for ME only and not to please others. I am getting comfortable with my plumpness and I have found that some guys are still attracted to me and my big booty. And I get laid just as much as I did when I was skinny so, ha!
I'm excited about 2012. Twelve is my lucky number so I'm excited to see what the year brings. I am proud of my new outlook on life and love. I've wasted too many years feeling sorry for myself that I am so unlucky in love. Who cares if I'm 30 and still single? I bet there are some people my age that wish they were unattached. I can do whatever the hell I want, with whoever the hell I want to do it with, and go wherever the hell I want to go.
So here's to the New Year! A new year, A new me. New possibilities, New people, and No planning!!!
