Do you ever have dreams of past lovers? Like real intense, vivid dreams and then you wake up but hurry and try to go back to sleep to keep dreaming about them. Sometimes I even have dreams where I'm like seducing past lovers but for some reason I don't dream of sex, just like foreplay. Seems like I always wake up before the sex which sucks. Ha! But why do we dream about people that have left our lives years and years ago? I'm going to have to do research about that because I don't even want to be dreaming about certain people because you know in life you have to move on and put on your big girl panties and grow up and get over people who didn't share the same feelings for you as you had for them. Maybe that's it. Maybe you still dream of past unrequited lovers because that love was never reciprocated and somewhere in your brain and soul it wants a happy ending. I don't know....but it's something to ponder.
There are certain songs I can't listen too. I have a photographic memory so when certain songs come on there's like a slideshow of pictures going on in my mind of where I was with a person when that song played. Movies are sometimes like that. If someone wants to watch a movie, it can't be one I saw in the theater or any place with a past lover. Sheesh. I have issues.
I've been thinking alot of why I'm still single. I'm the common denominator (as Dr. Phil says) in all my failed relationships. And I used to be so picky! A good guy once really liked me but I stopped dating him because he had webbed toes and would wear flip flops and I couldn't stop staring at his toes. Then another time this guy from Knoxville came and picked me up and he was wearing a suit and gave me roses and took me out to eat at the Peerless which is expensive. And we had so much in common and I liked him but he was kinda fat and that was when I was skinny so I stopped seeing him. Well I guess karma hit me cause now I'm the fat ass that alot of guys aren't cool with. Which I get. But anyway, I need to start exercising. I've gained so much weight it's not even funny. I mean there's still some guys that I have as friends with benefits..I guess some guys have a fat girl fetish. But I haven't had a boyfriend since 2008. That's Eight Fucking Years. That's sad.
Anyway, maybe I'll make a New Year's Resolution to get fit again. And stop smoking so much pot. And maybe not isolate myself so much and get back into my comedy. And to quit smoking cigarettes. And stop trying to find a prison pen pal. (I used to read Craigslist personal ads at night in bed but now I've moved on to these prison pen pal websites cause once I sent a comedy friend a card in jail and it really made his day so I figured maybe I could be an encouragement to some felon. And fall in love with a bad boy...Ha! that was a joke.)
Ok that is all. Merry
Christmas! Remember He's the Reason For the Season!
